So I am sitting here at 4 am on the morning after playing my first game of D & D in several years. I used to have so much fun playing with Isaac and company and it makes me really happy that I am doing it again. However, in the days leading up to playing some insecurities that I have had all my life, that I thought were mostly gone, cropped up again. Which is weird because lately I have been a lot more comfortable and open about embracing my "inner" nerd, but I still would not have told most people that I was going to spend my Sunday playing D & D. However, Jesse and Katt were both more than a little open about sharing that info with anyone and everyone, which made me twinge with discomfort each time.

Now the hardest part is going to be waiting until next Sunday to play again.

I really wish I read "better" books, most of what I read is pulp-ish fantasy or sci-fi. I primarily read the stuff because I can read it super fast and it is a decent form of entertainment. But when I read something like Bester, Mieville, Gavriel Kay, or even Carey to some extent I actually "feel" the story. I have been moved to cry by fantasy novels (and recently while watching the Two Towers I almost teared up) but I don't feel like I read enough books that could be called "good" fiction. But most pure fiction is not all that interesting to me unless there is a particularly strong archetypical character (like Burke from the Vachss novels).